Just went for a jog to free my mind

Hey guys! Happy Saturday hahahhah! I was just sittin around the apartment today thinking about my kids. I got very upset and started to sweat. I said to myself, "OK Ryan, you can sit here again all day and probably pop in 5 more bags of popcorn and stuff your fucking face, or you can go on a run." So I went on a short jog. It was really beautiful. It had just stopped raining and the sun was out. The grass was still wet and my mind was as clear as the air; I even waved at the mail man! I still miss my kids though :(

I should probably explain to you what is the situation with my kids. I got divorced last year. I know, I know, you're probably thinking, "Divorced? But he's only 21." I often ask those questions also. The truth is... she left me. I think about her every night. "Where is she, what is she doing" The last time I saw her was in January when she picked up the kids from Discovery Zone, 3 hours too early. She was 4 months pregnant and pissed off. "Whose kid is that?" I asked, "Tony's she replied" Who the fuck is Tony is what I wanna know. I tried calling the kid's cell phone, to ask them, but I think they blocked my number. I think they hate me for splitting up the marriage.

I was so depressed when this whole business began I tried to kill myself. Yes, me. I ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills and chased it down with a shot of Drain-o. As I was fading out I called my kids at their Grandma's. I told them I drank a shit load of drain-o and I was dying and that it wasn't their fault. And that I would see them in Heaven. They hung up and miraculously I didn't die! but I was blind for 2 months.

I'M BETTER NOW THOUGH!! Through God's grace and power I have stopped going to my kid's school and my ex wife's work and I am dealing with this new life.

SEE YA TOMORROW!