The Memoirs of A Sad Man

As most of my subscribers know by now, I am trying to get my memoirs published. I have contacted, and left messages, at Oprah’s Book Club three times this month .I really believe if my story got out there, it could really a lot of people get through similar issues in there life. My life is one that most people could relate to. In the late 90’s I was born to as test tube baby to a woman in her late 60’s. She died before I was 2 years old. While in the womb, I developed male and female genitalia. I was raised a boy and grew up a troubled youth. When I wasn’t in the orphanages, I was in Juvenile detention. By the age 7 of, due to hormonal issues, I had a nearly full beard. By 9, I was selling meth. Things finally mellowed out after my 3rd stint in rehab when I was 11. There I was, nearly 200 pounds over weight, parentless and friends. I said to myself, “Ryan, stand up on your feet you faggot. You gotta get things in order around here.” So I did.

From then on it was smooth sailing. I kicked my sex addiction. Started going to NA meetings. And finally found a zest for life that I had been searching for, for so long. The years flew by and I relished in the happiness. I was the most popular guy in high school. I was the guy anybody could talk to. I was open minded, sweet, and had the prettiest girlfriend. Everyday after school, I tutored kids who needed help in calculus. Life and my future looked bright and beautiful, everything was perfect until an inner demon from my dark past decided to visit me. During the second half of my senior year, I grew tits.

After that my life was turned upside down. My girlfriend dumped me and I dropped out of high school. I was back to my old ways. I began experimenting with LSD and homosexuality. For 10 months I was a groupie for the band Rascal Flatts. While on the road with them I got addicted to auto erotic asphyxiation and nitrous oxide. One night after the boys played a gig in Dallas, I was confronted in the bathroom stall by three men wearing cowboy hats. They forced 3 ecstasy pills down my mouth and threatened to cut my throat if I didn’t talk in an Elvis Presley voice. After they raped me and shaved my head a woman ran into the stall and saved my life. She tol the cowvboys to get the fuck out of the bathroom or she would call the cops. This was Linda, the future mother of my children. I knew I loved her right then, when I looked into her algae green eyes. She had a Dee Snyder hairstyle with a fiery attitude and skin to match.

But that is just part of the story. Please help me get a hold of Oprah so this story can be brought to life. Other drug addicted hermaphrodites need to know that they are not alone in this world and that hope can come from anywhere. Thank you and god bless.

Just went for a jog to free my mind

Hey guys! Happy Saturday hahahhah! I was just sittin around the apartment today thinking about my kids. I got very upset and started to sweat. I said to myself, "OK Ryan, you can sit here again all day and probably pop in 5 more bags of popcorn and stuff your fucking face, or you can go on a run." So I went on a short jog. It was really beautiful. It had just stopped raining and the sun was out. The grass was still wet and my mind was as clear as the air; I even waved at the mail man! I still miss my kids though :(

I should probably explain to you what is the situation with my kids. I got divorced last year. I know, I know, you're probably thinking, "Divorced? But he's only 21." I often ask those questions also. The truth is... she left me. I think about her every night. "Where is she, what is she doing" The last time I saw her was in January when she picked up the kids from Discovery Zone, 3 hours too early. She was 4 months pregnant and pissed off. "Whose kid is that?" I asked, "Tony's she replied" Who the fuck is Tony is what I wanna know. I tried calling the kid's cell phone, to ask them, but I think they blocked my number. I think they hate me for splitting up the marriage.

I was so depressed when this whole business began I tried to kill myself. Yes, me. I ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills and chased it down with a shot of Drain-o. As I was fading out I called my kids at their Grandma's. I told them I drank a shit load of drain-o and I was dying and that it wasn't their fault. And that I would see them in Heaven. They hung up and miraculously I didn't die! but I was blind for 2 months.

I'M BETTER NOW THOUGH!! Through God's grace and power I have stopped going to my kid's school and my ex wife's work and I am dealing with this new life.

SEE YA TOMORROW!

My First Blog

Hey guy, Ryan Vaught here. I'm brand new to the blog community, but I have been following several for a couple years now. This two happen to be my faves and actually inspired me to build this thing, http://alaskaxyoung.livejournal.com/ http://iamfashion.blogspot.com/

In my future blogs, I plan to talk about topics and things that are going on in my life; whether it be love, friendship, parenthood, or trust. I have a feeling that I will also delve into my childhood (which I will tell you now, was far from normal!). My divorce will also come up as well as other miscellaneous topics. I think it is safe to say I will talk about just about anything. I mean ANYTHING.

I will try to log on a couple times a week at night and talk about the things I was thinking or going through that day, hence the title of my blog: How I Feel Tonight. But for now I will just tell you about myself in general. I'm 21 years old, recently divorced and 143 days sober. My closest friends are my cat Stephanie and 14 year old rabbit Leo. I have found they are the only guys I can really talk things through with when times get rough. I know it sounds funny, but I'm serious!!!

So, let me be the first to welcome you to the world of Ryan Vaught. It's gonna be a fun time guys. You are going to learn a lot about me, my views (I'm very opinionated) and maybe you can learn something about yourself. Love and wingdings Love ya!

-Seeee ya!